Warning: Depressing Post

You've been warned.

I am not sure how to put onto paper what I'm feeling today. It seems I have not been being a very good person. I didn't realize I was hurting someone and it recently came to light. I have been coming across as someone who feels like I am better than other people and have been rude. I shouldn't be as surprised as I am, but I really didn't mean to act that way and didn't realize I was. I want to say to that person if she cares that I am truly sorry. And I want to say to other people who have been offended by my carelessness that I am sorry to you too. I know apologies without knowing what you've done are rather hollow, at least I've always thought so. But I am not kidding when I say I want to know what I am doing and who I am offending so I can set it right. I am completely serious about this - it has been a rough morning for me where I have been re-evaluating my life and my actions and I am not happy with what I see. I even called someone out of the blue and made a complete fool of myself trying to make sure she wasn't mad at me. (Sorry! I just truly want to fix this.)

My first reaction to things like this is to withdraw. In order to fix it, just go away so I don't hurt people. I know, it's a very immature reaction, but we're being completely honest here, so there it is. I basically want to crawl in a hole. But you know what? I needed to hear it. What better time than the beginning of the new year to have this brought to my attention, right? Time to re-evaulate and re-focus on what's important.

If I have offended you, I would love to talk to you about it. Not here. :) Call me, anytime. And I hope that I have opened my eyes and intend to do better.

I warned ya.